Like I Love You

It's gotta be a tough gig to be an actor...no, seriously it must. First they've gotta play pretend all the time and they've always gotta get it right, but they don't always have (nor should they) the say in who they get to play with. Whenever chemistry is there on screen it's like peeking into a window an actually seeing some people do some stuff. Like, Real People Really Doing Things Together. They can be performing mundane or trivial pursuits; they can be sad or scary or naughty or completely inspiring and an adoring audience (moi) will love them forever. Not so much if they can't muster up even the tiniest spark. Nothing...and you're professionals? The following is a list of couples who just can't seem to get it up.

1. Pam and Jim, The Office. If you didn't know, these two are supposed to be you and me if we worked at The Office. We're goofy, and honest, and forthright and so in....not love. Pam and Jim have more report with the camera than they do together. They look like a couple of High School theater kids who totally do not hang out together after school. A let down because office romances are hot.
2. Jack and Wendy Torrance, The Shining. I suppose that one would have to have a little distance from their spouse, maybe even a total disregard for that person's well being if one were going to willingly sign up for a tour of duty in the scariest haunted hotel in the world. That would make sense. Because these two, when they are together, can't even convincingly feign interest. It's like watching one of those Animal Planet shows where they try to the the boy panda to bang the girl panda. They're not feeling it, I can tell. Give me the bat!
3. McCain and Palin or hell, Obama and Biden for that matter. Maybe they are not actors, but that doesn't excuse them from trying. Ain't none of these a Clinton and Gore.

Fall in New England

As the summer comes to an end and the clouds roll in and the leaves fall down, it's time once again to bid adieu to warmth and light and bug spray and bonjour to the cold and dark and woolen. Let's look at some film's from the beautiful country of Northeast America in preparation of the long winter ahead. Maybe have some brownies, too. Why not?

10. Groundhog Day.
Bill Murray is the funniest, most redemptive jerk on the planet. A personal favorite.
9. Baby Boom
Watch the scene where she tells James Spader that this is her office and then answers the phone for him. It is the bravest "It's for you!" ever.
8. Misery
This the crock pot of urban myth. Slow and soupy and horrifying.
7. The Legend of Sleepy Hallow
Johnny Depp as the skirmish dweeb detetive in colonial upstate New York. Oh, and a headless horseman. Vive le Burton!
6. The Iron Giant
Goddamn sad kids movie.
5. Good Will Hunting
Cute! Informative!
4. Halloween
Spoooooooooooookieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
3. The Scarlet Letter
Turgid. Sentamental. Gary Oldman Flava Saver a la 1666.
2. Dumb and Dumber
"Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!"
1. The Witches of Eastwick
The unholy trificta of late 80's glamour with Jack Nickolson and black magic. Pure New England smaltz.

What Happens to a Dream Deferred?

It is easy to have your head turned by such a powerful suitor as American Presidential Race. Look at them on the TV, as this is the closest most of us will ever come to our officials. On TV they are attractive, confident and well spoken. They photograph beautifully in front of their loving audiences. And they want you. It is natural, then, in that moment to forget that there is more involved than yourself. Maybe your mind is too full of red, white and blue to remember that the results of your vote involves not only you and those you love, but also people you will never know, maybe never understand and people whom you despise. Around 305 million people in all, give or take a few. It's quite a player who can pull that off. But it doesn't stop there! After all, it's always been America today, the World tomorrow.

Are these people on the TV really who they say they are and will they really do what they say they will do? Is our elective process so straightforward and above suspicion? In a word, no. This process is a sham; it is a bloated, arrogant, spoiled child beating a dog in between kisses. I am tired of being seduced and then slapped. We are a polarized, broke country at war and with few friends. We cannot bully or charm our way out of this one. Petty comments, shrouded intentions, and grandiose egos are the name of the game, but games invariably stop. These candidates need to stop making eyes at me and tell me exactly what they intend to do and how they will make it happen if elected.

9/11

A moment to remember this day-

La Vie en Disco

Maybe I am starting to crack....no, I lie. I feel better and in part I must thank DISCO (although, to be honest, my list could only be considered "disco" as a synonym for "dance" as house, electronica, funk are represented, as well as straight up disco). I have always loved disco. It is the synthesized, glittering, polyester, hustling, superficial, honky Paradise that I believe I will ascend to if I am really, really good. Some favorites, old and new-

10. Rapture, Blondie.

9. Deeper and Deeper, Madonna.

8. Mighty Real, Sylvester.

7. Sophisticated Side Ponytail, Natalie Portman's Shaved Head.

8. Ride a White Horse, Goldfrapp.

7. Staying Alive, the Bee Gees.

6. Alright, Jamiroquai.

5. Atomic Dog, George Clinton.

4. Schism, Tool.

3. Ladies Night, Kool and the Gang.

2. D.A.N.C.E., Justice.

1. Don't Leave Me This Way, Thelma Houston.