Where is my music? Why did all of my music on my Ipod disappear this morning? I am not freaking out. I am not freaking out. It's somewhere on my computer, yeah? I am not cool with this. I am breathing and resisting my natural impulse to call up the Apple Corporation and get a stooge to help me find my music and also pick a fight with him. I'm gonna need two Wellies today and a lot of chocolate.
Maybe I am starting to crack....no, I lie. I feel better and in part I must thank DISCO (although, to be honest, my list could only be considered "disco" as a synonym for "dance" as house, electronica, funk are represented, as well as straight up disco). I have always loved disco. It is the synthesized, glittering, polyester, hustling, superficial, honky Paradise that I believe I will ascend to if I am really, really good. Some favorites, old and new-
10. Rapture, Blondie.
9. Deeper and Deeper, Madonna.
8. Mighty Real, Sylvester.
7. Sophisticated Side Ponytail, Natalie Portman's Shaved Head.
So, in retrospect, maybe my love for music videos was a little like the love one has for their bad boyfriend. It's never really satisfying, but it is...what? Romantic? Dramatic? Satisfying? It can be hard to tell, but dammit I miss music videos. I remember my first. We didn't have cable when I was a little girl, but my grandma did and she let us have the run of the place (hi grandma!). When it was my turn to have control of the TV I watched MTV. I remember watching a camera skid across an open, purple room filled with birds and oddly a bathtub. Then a little serious man stood up from this tub and extended his hand to me! Just beats and pompousness and purple. I was hooked. In any case, I could not have foreseen the collapse of the romance between myself and music videos; money holds the strings now and money is boring. So, in retrospect, a collection of the happy times. When Doves Cry Thriller All Through the Night Faith West End Girls Express Yourself You Got the Right Stuff Smells Like Teen Spirit Closer Just Hit Me Baby One More Time
I'll be honest and admit that I miss theoldMadonna. I thought she was really fun and smart and inspired. But I read the writing on the wall the day when I saw this coverpage. Since then, she's gone from being the lovably fucked up fuck me fuck you Madonna I knew and cherished to a....boring and tiresome older woman. Where did your funk go, Madonna? Can one not age gracefully, while maintaining some sort of continuity? I understand that people change, but Madonna is not a person like you and I. She is the invention of a lonely, repressed, exhibitionist kid from Michigan and apparently that kid is now a cranky hag (my heart!). Children's Author?Kabbalahist? African Adopter? Happily Married? Madge? Esther? Hoodoo Madonna. Hoodoo. Now she's got another album coming out and I, because I can't let go, will go out and buy it. This is my prayer: Please, please let her overcome her trite politics. Please, please, let someone give her some warm tapioca, Tivo'd Wheel of Fortune, and a large diamond encrusted mirror so that we will be spared her vanity, may she be at peace. Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permissions of another.
