Movies I Will Not See

So many films, so little time. Here's this weeks' round up of the films that didn't make the cut.
27 Dresses. This could be 27 Pairs of Shoes, or 27 Times I Ate Taffy, or 27 Random Times I Spaced Out, anything twenty seven times? Loser!*
The Bucket List. One old nasty man and one old man with philosophy-spiked senility equals 5400 seconds of regret.
National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Has beens and nobodies that chase pretty lies amongst kabooms and stereotypes is not entertainment.
Rambo. This has boat payment written all over it. In blood.
How She Move. Actually, my grammar is not that much better than this. I just think dance movies are boring....except this!
Untraceable: The Internets are dangerous? Baloney.
Meet the Spartans. I would, were it permissible, take this franchise out to the field and put it out of misery.
Mad Money. Please, enough with the naughty good girls crime capers....what I see are grown women acting like 12 year old boys. Did they play Lady Marmalade during the trailer or am I making this up?
I Am Legend. Will Smith is the last human being after vampires devour the rest of humanity....hmm. Apparently he tastes as bad as he acts.
Atonement. Thanks, but I can manage without Keria's moping but I did like the dude as Pan in the Narnia movie. You know what they say about satyrs, though.
*Note: I actually saw this one, and I stand by my initial evaluation