The Gay Inside: A List

Gay folks are all over the place, and if truth be told I really like some of the stuff they like. For instance, the word tulle. Gorgeous, but definitely not straight. So here is another top ten list of mine, this time its the Top Ten Gay Stuff I Really Like (As A Straight Person).
10. An American in Paris. Pink/Plaid? Definitely Pink.My heart beats it's little wings with love every single time I hear Gershwin's score for the ballet. I swoon when I think of Jerry and Lisa at the fountain. I have to thank Mr. B.J. Wexler for showing this on the OETA Movie Club that one fate filled night I was allowed to stay up and it was the only thing on. On a scale of 1-10 of fabulousness this is a solid 8. Gush, gush, gush!
9. Tegan and Sara. Pink/Plaid? Plaid, bitches. These lovely ladies are quiet distinct: they're gifted,twins, and both lesbians. Holy Crow. The Con was one of the best albums last year. So good, in fact, when I was flipping through the channels and caught their interview on Logo, I had a pause. Calm down, I'm calling back to say I'm coming around. Encircle me.
8. Porn. Pink/Plaid? Pink by a wee margin. One could argue that pornography is for both sexes and for all sexualities, and to a degree you'd be right. But isn't a little gay to watch someone of your own sex engaged in the act of intercourse, regardless of which sort of body they happen to be with? A vicarious fuck places you in the body of not only the catcher but the pitcher as well. Moreover, even if a heterosexual man is reviewing a lesbian act, this is endorsing an act of homosexuality. Needless to say, gay porn is pretty gay too.
7. Michelangelo. Pink/Plaid? Pink. I'm an Art person. Maybe not a great one, but that's besides the point. Michelangelo paved the way for the modern artist to have a little personality, a little self respect. Oh, and he was a genius. A genius that might literally be in a class of his own, and the man was so gay he painted 20 "ignudi" on the Sistine Chapel. And they were beautiful.
6. Judy Chicago. Pink/Plaid? Plaid, but in a Nunnish sort of way. Judy Chicago is another artist but she's no Michelangelo;I don't think she's even gay. She is, however, a force of Feminist Nature to the point where she might make you gay. The Dinner Party was so brilliant, and so vaginal, that intellectually you could conceive of having pussy for dinner. Strange but true.
5. Magic. Pink/Plaid? Plaid. I'm not thinking of smoke and mirrors, tricks or illusions, I'm thinking of the real deal: the Old Ways. All of the ancient (pre-BCE 5000ish) religions were the same in the beginning, and they were based on women. Women were the pocessors of arcane knowledge and healers. Put a couple of them together and you've got yourself a sexy bunch of ladies who really know how to tap into the mother power.
4. Couture. Pink/Plaid. The most ravishing pink in the universe. Only gay men would be so unfamiliar/masochistic to a woman's body as to conjure up a painful, delicate, expensive gown for her to worship. After she is starved into her dress, she is coated with paint on her face, her hair is whipped into submission, and her feet are forced into shoes that were never meant to be worn; this grotesque transformation of a mere female into the embodiment of a goddess would be unthinkable without the effete.
3. Madonna. Pink/Plaid? The rare entry that could be said to be both; she is the pink plaid. Madonna is the bad girl I wish I could be, she's the diva gay men wish they could be. Here is a woman acting as she would, one who reportedly has a penis in her head, and she looks like a million bucks. Go Madonna.
2. Camp. Pink/Plaid. Both. This is not a sleepover, this is a party. A toast to Camp (cue the DJ). Here is to the 50's, 70's and the new millennium. To velvet and hairspray and hasty decisions made at midnight. Here is to blood and beauty, to equality and glamour. May you never leave Camp, and may Camp live forever.
1. Gay People. Pink/Plaid? Rainbows of both. Kisses to all my gay homies, thanks for all of this lovely stuff, and the things I couldn't come up with but they're out there. You make me feel mighty real!