I was talking to a student of mine today about who I used to be when I was his age, and I realized that the character I'd been describing never existed. That she, now me, changed too much to ever support anything but a flip label. I forget who I used to be, and someday I'll forget who I am today.
I feel like a snake shedding it's skin; I need a nice sharp rock to drag my body against. I'll be so pretty and shiny then. Now I can't speak or look or taste. A catalyst. I need a catalyst.
Do you remember your dreams? I do, with clarity. When I am dreaming it's as though I'm awake and while dreaming, if a mirror is present, I make it a point to look into it. Do you know what I see? A rippling, smudged image of a human. Not me, not anyone. Like I'm in someone else's dream.
I want to see myself at some point. I'll wait forever if I need to. I'm expecting. I'm not angry or confused. I'm expecting.
No comments:
Post a Comment