Beautiful. Unethical. Yawn.

In an alternate universe Bruce Wayne might have had a chance for a normal, happy life. His childhood is gilded by his parents adoration and bottomless pockets. As a man, Bruce wakes up, he eats his truffle omelet in the limo on the way to open a couple of non-profits, he makes love to Giselle Buchon, and goes to sleep. Rinse and repeat for 80 years, and then he's off to the big penthouse in the sky. Unfortunately, in this world, little Brucy is a billionare manic despressive unhinged by his parents murder. Pair that with a inclination for vigilantism and you've got a moody, self-absorbed, dime-store philosopher with a penchant for rubbery roundhouse kicks: Batman. What exactly am I to love about this superhero again? What exactly separates him from criminals? Oh, yeah. His Christ complex. His money.

This movie is so long, so conceited, so violent, and ultimately really boring. Apparently Batman has issues with Batman, Gotham is sinking into corruption, and a psycho clown with dry mouth is making a strong case for the Chaos Theory. A smart-alec slouchy twit called Rachel Dawes has captured Batman and Harvey Dent into one of the least believable love triangles: no chemistry whatsoever. Rachel? Button up your shirt, dear. You are not Vicky Vale.

More people blown to bits, or bashed, or thrown through glass, or shot than I can count. A gun is held to a kid's head by a man with half of his head burned off. I am supposed to be comfortable with the film's zero moral responsibility, zero ethical responsibility regarding human life but why? If you believe the filmmakers, The Dark Knight is about the randomness of violence and the courage of a man to stand up to evil and fight for all of us. Call me crazy, but I think you can point out all of the flaws of humanity without perpetuating them yourself. How about not even writing or filming this sort of degrading, sleazy nonsense at all?

Conversely, I did like the aesthetics of it all. Very Dakar Noir meets Bauhaus. Good lighting, nice sounds. And I liked Alfred. Such a wise and giving servant. I wish I had one.

I hereby go on record and state that I do not like the new Batman movies. I believe that they are superficial, dull, and engage the viewer in base and primitive stories. They take themselves far too seriously. For my Batman dollar, I'd rather watch this any day.