The Diet of Choice

It is time again to diet. Normally I am not much of a dieter but as of late I have a: stopped smoking, b: experienced a metabolism change and c: been pigging out on junk food. So, with little thought and no consultation I have engaged in the Lean Cuisine Diet wherein I will only eat microwave dinners (featuring 6 grams of fat or less) until I am again comfortable with my weight. I have no idea if this diet will actually work, but then again all I have to do is actually eat these meals, every meal, every day, until I lose weight. The problem is that while the dinners are fast and handy, they often taste really strange and salty. Here is a list I'm compiling along with a rating of Lean Cuisine (LC), Weight Watchers Smart Ones (SO), and Healthy Choice (HC) entrees; the scale is from one to ten with one equating horse flesh and ten equating strawberry pie.
1. LC's Four Cheese Cannelloni-1. This sad little dish has the unique distinction of being both bitter and bland. It purports to be a traditional Italian dish; what I ate was something more akin to medicinal lotion in a tire slathered with grossly expired ketchup.
2. HC's Classic Grilled Chicken BBQ-7. Healthy Choice chicken dishes are pretty good, and the BBQ sauce is pleasantly spicy/sweet. I was less impressed with the potatoes (shriveled) and the broccoli florets (pitifully small/ disintegrates on contact), but the peaches were a yummy and warm complement to the BBQ.
3. LC's Deluxe Cheddar Potato-11. I cannot describe how much I love these potatoes. There is fake cheese galore and salt, salt, and more salt. The potatoes and broccoli are mere springboards from which the cheese salt soars into the heavens. Hold the phone: apparently there are turkey bacon bits in it too! Pure magic.
4. SO's Spaghetti with Meat Sauce-5. After eating this, I actually felt full. Maybe the diet is working already? The sauce does a decent impression of heartiness, but the meat could have been minced anything. The spaghetti noodles were ok, but agian, walking away with that "not hungry" feeling is priceless.
5. LC's Gourmet Mushroom Pizza-1. Did you ever wonder what a trashcan full of gangrenous corpses and feces tasted like? It probably tastes better than this pizza.
6. HC's Minestrone Soup-7. Although in no way was my appetite saited by the serving portion, I actually liked the taste and textures of this Minestrone. The base was a little too sweet for me, and the peas were squishy, but all in all a tiny tasty soup.
7. HC's Slow Roasted Turkey Breast and Mashed Potatoes-8. The turkey is a bit dry. That's it. That is my only critique. The sauce? Good! The mashed potatoes? Good! The mixed vegetables? They are mixed vegetables! The secret with this one is to mix everything together.
8. LC's Steak, Cheddar and Mushroom Panini-7. I suspect LC's success is dependent on their delightful cheddar, because like #3 this one is good. These panini's, which apparently means sloppy sandwich in Italian, are for the most part very tasty-just stay away from the edges if you have any sort of dental issues. Concrete would be easier to bite into.
9. HC's Lemon Pepper Fish-3. Yeah, I tried the fish. This tasted like something I ate in the cafeteria in my husband's grandmother's retirement home. It was the fish or chicken a la king and I do not do chicken a la king.
10. SM's Broccoli and Cheddar Roasted Potatoes-10. The serving size is smaller than LC's version of this dish, but I love it just as much. Well, almost. Where are the turkey bacon bits?

So that is my diet so far. I have not lost any weight-yet-but then again I stopped ballooning. I do miss the good times, however, like eating real food. Damn metabolism!